Halloween Hijinks

When was the last time you and your partner carved pumpkins and wore them on your heads? Never? Same here! But when my beloved and I saw the photo above, it was a smashing reminder that playfulness can be delightfully simple. 

I know the couple in the photo, whom I’ll call Pumpkin One and Pumpkin Two. I’ve known Pumpkin One since she was, well, a little pumpkin. I’m grateful to both Pumpkins for allowing me to use their photo and share a bit of their story for this blog entry.

Pumpkin One had dated others before, but few truly appreciated her quick, wicked wit, often delivered in deadpan style. When Pumpkin Two arrived on the scene, everyone was struck by how much they enjoyed each other’s charming quirks. Instead of feeling frustrated by the other’s foibles, they found them funny and attractive. They play whimsically together not only on Halloween but in everyday life. 

This brings me to studies that show couples who play together tend to stay together. While respectful communication, trust, and commitment are hallmarks of healthy partnerships, the importance of novelty and playfulness has often been underestimated.  Yet, these qualities are vital for keeping the spark alive, fostering intimacy, and building resilience against the stresses of life.

Neuroscience has shown that when couples carve out time to have fun and prioritize trying new things together, their brains release dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and motivation. In romantic partnerships, this can help rekindle excitement, stimulate curiosity, reduce stress, and deepen emotional bonds. In other words, novelty and having fun together are protective factors that help couples see the best in one another, thereby sustaining satisfaction and ensuring ruptures are repaired quickly and efficiently.

While Halloween is an ideal time to dress up, get wildly playful, and enjoy some sweet, spicy fun, you don’t have to wait for a special occasion to intentionally create amusing memories. Indeed, you can keep boredom at bay by planning spontaneous outings (e.g., last-minute tickets to a comedy show), trying new activities (e.g., Pickleball, Archery, Salsa classes), and playing games that invite laughter, friendly competition, and conversation (e.g., Name That Tune or The Empathy Game).

Couples like Pumpkin One and Pumpkin Two inspire us to intentionally carve out time for shenanigans. Remember, research has shown that couples who embrace playfulness often report higher relationship satisfaction and a greater sense of closeness. These attributes can help your relationship to be a safe, sacred sanctuary.

Here’s to keeping the spirit of fun alive after Halloween!